A Contract More Binding Than Rogers’

Yeah I’m talking about a wedding. Yesterday, my cousin chose to get married on a Sunday, on the beach with her now ex-boyfriend Dave. Imagine looking out onto a beautiful Lake Huron beach, devoid of fat, pasty-white tourists (E-coli scare) and only the blue waves cresting gently while boats slowly sailed across the horizon.

It was a beautiful day to be sure. I loved the chardonnay which surprised me – I’ve never seen Tobi drink a drop in my life. Her sister Jenn had assistants scouring the wedding for photos. They had far more expensive cameras and lenses than I. Knowing Tobi’s memories were in good hands, I took shots of the camera-women themselves: specifically Jenn laying flat on the main street of Kincardine photographing the couple casually walking down the street. Those driving were quite polite to stop. Mississaugans would not have been so kind.

For those of you keeping track, this would be the third daughter of Joyce and John Farrell to be wed. THe last is Tania who remains in the single scene, without a doubt the least neurotic of the Farrell sisters.

Just kidding Teresa/Tobi/Jenn. Please don’t hurt me.

Model Mayhem

No seriously, that’s the site: www.modelmayhem.com And no, it’s Not Safe For Work (NSFW).

It’s a Facebook for Fotographers except with only one millionth the functionality. If Facebook ever introduces multiple ‘faces’ (for example a professional banking face, a friend face, a family face and a professional photographer face) I don’t see any reason for this site at all. But it has widespread acceptance amongst models, touch up artist (TUA), make up artists (MUA), photographers and hair stylists.

So as an upcoming awesome photographer, I wanted to get my name out there. Especially for models in Mississauga who might need a creative genius to take their portrait. A few people jumped to be my friend right away. I think the idea is, if you’re a stylist or photographer, you want as many connections as possible. It’s like when you’re single: date enough people and eventually you’ll hit if off with someone. And yeah, if I need a Touch Up Artist or Make-Up Artist, I’d probably start with my friends list before searching elsewhere (especially when a TUA can be anywhere in the world).

It’s just another step forward in learning to make great portraits.

Double Exposure – Reality TV Just for Me

Ever since Survivor took America by storm, reality TV remains consistently on our TV sets. Sure there were attempts before (notably Cops) but putting beautiful dumb people together vying for $1 mil was a recipe for success… which was repeated over and over and over. Big Brother, The Bachelor/ette, and Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire all have appeared with various levels of longevity. My wife and I watch So You Think You Can Dance religiously – and now I’ve found another.

Ruth probably won’t watch this one though. Double Exposure is about two photographer business partners that arrange and take photos of celebrities and fashion models around the world aka every photographer’s dream. Mind bogglingly expensive equipment, interesting locations (the house where the Big Lebowski was filmed) and tonnes of assistants all come together in this reality TV show to create beauty. They make great images and I’m carefully watching each studio shoot to see what they do differently to make me that much better.

But like all reality TV shows, there is a bit of set up and overacting (the producer and female photographer have heart-to-heart conversation alone in a hotel room, with the documenting cameras filming everything straight on). The male photographer drove the business into bankruptcy with his purchases of mind bogglingly expensive equipment, location rentals and tonnes of assistants they need to pay.

They also yell at each other a lot. Sure it detracts from the photoshoots, but it’s still entertaining.

You Ruined the Wedding, You Ruiner!

Last summer I was a volunteer photographer at Scotiabank’s Wheelchair Challenge. There were a few other photographers there and for the most of the day, we each busied ourselves trying to capture interesting things that happened during the event. We did talk to each other before the event got started, something photographers do to gauge the other guys’ equipment/experience/skill. One guy called himself a wedding photographer and had just finished a wedding the day before.

We both had Nikon D50 cameras and so we briefly discussed how great they are (making ourselves feel good in the process). He talked about how he did a wedding session for X. Then he complained about his lens not being sharp – that it was “soft”. I mentioned that he should always shoot at least a third of a stop (f6.3 for my 55-200mm f4-5.6 lens) than the lens’ fastest aperture . He agreed he always tried to keep it at f6.3. But his lens was slower than mine. It was a Sigma 18-200mm F3.5-6.3 and he was shooting wide-open at 200mm. A guarantee for soft, subpar photos.

First – the lens isn’t a sharp lens – it’s a do-all lens that you sacrifice everything to have a lens that can vary between landscape, everyday shooting and medium telephoto photographs. Second – it’s Sigma – a third party lens that is okay but not awesome. Like buying no-name ice-cream. The quality just isn’t there. And last – he didn’t know his equipment or what its limits were. He didn’t know that he ought to have better equipment for what he was doing or how to make it work to its optimal level.

Weddings happen once (for the lucky people). The best way to remember them positively is to have beautiful photos of the happy bride and groom and anyone else who made the day more pleasant. Videos in my opinion, are too real and cause the actual memories to come flooding back. But I digress…

Even if he was volunteering to be the wedding photographer, everything about him reeked of an incompetent amateur. I don’t do weddings because I’m not awesome yet. I think I’d like to – and be paid – but until I can guarantee someone that I’ll nail enough digital moments to last their lifetime, they should hire someone better.

Only call me if the only person willing to do it is that guy. Then maybe.